Home is...

Home is wherever i'm with you.

Cheesy? Cliché? Maybe, but true. That train where we slept when crossing France overnight felt more like home than this bed I sleep in three nights a week away from you. As hard as it is, always feels good to return home.

**

all photos by me
for the 52 Photos Project

Time... how fast it goes...

“Nature gives to every time and season some beauties of its own;
and from morning to night,
as from the cradle to the grave,
it is but a succession of changes so gentle and easy that we can scarcely mark their progress.”

Charles Dickens

**

photo of us, by a friend

New Year's resolutions :: 2012

I'm not late for this, am I? Well, this is my blog, so I guess I get to decide what is right or wrong here! Anyways... It's never late to make commitments, right?

New Year's resolutions. One way or another, I think everybody makes them. Even if just for a second when raising the glass, watching the fireworks or kissing the ones we love. There's a flip of a moment when thoughts flow over our head and we make plans and wishes.

Some take them more serious and wright them down. I never did such thing. Maybe that's the reason why I never seem to remember all of them at the end, and maybe that's why some important ones end up undone. So, this time I'm writing them all here for the whole world to see, and beside you I commit. I wonder were this will go, but will be fun to look back in the end and I'm hoping to be proud of myself.

I've been thinking of them for a while (18 days, to be more precise...) and been elaborating a sort of a mental plan on how to get them done. As usual, many things crossed my mind, but I decided to stick with a shorter list of what I believe is doable. Keep your feet on the ground, girl! So, here they are:

1. Get our Etsy shop open and running
I started this blog with this goal in mind (hence the "made with love" name) and then, somehow, things turned, and when I noticed this place had grown into a photography based blog. How do these things happen, really? Well, I'm not complaining, it's actually kind of fun to realize how things find it's own path. And, i'm enjoying plenty of it. I would not have improved my skills, like I feel I have, without this place, that challenges me every day to get better and learn more. But we (me and the hub, of course) want to take that next step we've been pursuing. (don't worry, there won't be less photography here, I can't go back now) We're working on it. It will be done, this is the year!

2. Start a new sport practice on a regular basis
I told you before that I play football (soccer), but that only happens every other sunday, so I don't think that counts as a regular practice. I really N E E D  to start doing anything else.

3. Declutter and organize my closet (get those outfits in order!)
Meaning... get rid of everything I don't use (and also those things I use but probably shouldn't), and make it a practical space, so that I won't ever leave the house again feeling uncomfortable, or should I say lacking self-confidence, with what I'm wearing. No more excuses, like not having the time nor the will to find the pieces for a proper outfit. As a mental push to it, I will start sharing here two outfit photos per week (let's see how long this will go!). Not those kind of outfit posts with me-me-me-pictures overload and all the discription of what I're wearing and where I got it. No. Just pictures. And hopefully I will learn to control the fear of being in front of the camera, and get my way into the self-portrait technique (I will try that whenever possible).

4. Relearn how to paint in watercolors, and practice it
I've always loved watercolor. I started to learn it in high school, but then had to move on to oil painting and never went back at it. Honestly, I'm right in square one. I plan to buy a proper book and tools to start and also learn something with Jane Davenport. In the way, maybe I'll find time to make my own Peerless watercolor pallet to add to my travel journal.

5. Get a tattoo
This is also an old project of both of us that never came through. Let's make it happen!

6. Go back at shooting with analogue cameras
It's been ages since I've done it and, though I want (and seriously need) to improve my digital shooting skills, I really miss it. I feel like all those different approaches on light capturing take our photos, and the way we capture moments to another level. I bought a new camera several weeks ago and I can't get over that I haven't tried it yet!

7. Create more, and share
I have a million diy projects in my head and just as many others on my Pinterest board. The plan is... get them done! So, in order to make that happen I'm committing to a monthly post of a "Pinterest inspired DIY". Just 12 a year, can't be that hard to pull up!

8. Travel to a different country
I dig travelling! I dream of it pretty much every single day. We started our marriage with a (slightly crazy) 15 days trip that begun on a cruise ship and continued by train and bus, taking us through six different countries. (In fact, let's reduce it down to five, because crossing France over night on a train and spending two hours in Nice doesn't count to scratch that country.) We made plans to continue this journey and it was supposed to happen last year, but then all sort of things happen and we messed up the preparation and the ahead reservations needed, in result we skipped to plan B, which meant new city, no new country.


So... What do you think? Will I make it?

**

all photos by me

Gratitude

Being aware of it, allow us to appreciate every moment,
embrace what we've accomplished every step of the way,
and live a fully life.
And, for that I am immensely grateful.

For all of you getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving, I wish you a beautiful happy day.

**
photo by me with the cellphone
for the 52 Photos Project

Where happiness lies

“Know your own happiness. 

Want for nothing but patience -- or give it a more fascinating name: Call it hope.” 

  Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

**

photo by me

Heading home

Today is time to head home. Seems like the skies are opening, I can see the light at the horizon. Not always easy to, though...Yesterday I woke up with my cellphone beeping.

"There's nothing better than waking up next to you, 

even if we're as far as the opposite sides of the bed. 

Wake up and be able to hold you, 

squeeze you against me, 

and kiss you... 

Why can't we have this every day?"

I looked at the other side of the bed, but there's no other side. I barely fit in there myself. This work I have keeps us apart 3 nights a week, 230 km away. There's no way to express how it feels, it just feels wrong. This shitty economical situation we're living gives us no option but to hold on to it. Let's hope for better days. Whenever I look up for guidance I always see the clouds changing. Sometimes, all we need is a bit of wind to shake things up and change the clouds. Need to learn how to build a fan.

**

photo by me
for the 52 Photos Project

A busy weekend

Busy, and fun, and tiring... How come I always end the weekend feeling like "I really need a weekend!"? Beats me... This is what we've been up to:

Picking up the last figs of the season.

Getting ready for winter, like little ants, gathering wood for the fireplace. When we least expect it, the cold will come. At this point I'm already craving for nights with hot chocolate and tea by the fireplace.


Picking up chestnuts in the forest nearby. There is nothing better in a cold autumn night than roasted nuts with a glass of sweet fortified wine, like Port or the traditional Jeropiga.

And taking pictures by the sunset. Lots of pictures.

**

all photos by me

Lay down in our mother's arms

Today I'm missing lying down on the floor and looking at the skies. And breathing... deeply breathing. Inhaling the air and feeling it filling my lungs, and exhaling all stress inside me.

And then I would listen to this words...

"Nine planets round the sun

Only one does the sun embrace

Upon this watered one

So much we take for granted

So let us sleep outside tonight

Lay down in our mother's arms

For here we can rest safely..."

One sweet world 

Dave Matthews Band

PS: you may be glad to know that today I got my computer back with pretty much everything recovered! Can you just imagine my state of happiness?

**

photo by me

A pause to play... Mike and the Mechanics

Summer is past and we're surfing fall in cruise speed now. Yey! I love fall! Well, I love every season and I'm always very excited when time comes for a season changing. (yeah, totally like a kid) Truth to be told, I was a bit disappointed with mister summer, but I do not hold grudges, next year he will have the opportunity to redeem himself, right??

Autumn always brings me back school days because it's when it all starts. Here we're at the second week of school. New friends have already been made, school changes aren't new anymore, all new books have been opened and the family schedule is now rearranged. Everything falls into its normality. I like normality. I like routine. I don't think it has to be boring. Having rituals is good to have things in order in your life, and that's when everything gets exciting! Then you can add splashes of fun stuff, and sometimes turn your days upside down, break your routine.

Whenever I dreamed of having a family of my own, with a house, husband and kids, this was what came to my mind. Those regular everyday moments. Kind of like an end of a good family movie: everybody having breakfast together, the kids running out the door with their backpacks, and then the door is closed. The house stays in peaceful quiet waiting for everybody to return... Except for the cat. Meow! I know, I'm flying back, right now!

I think I'm lost... where was I? Oh, school, yes. Right, so, when I think back to my high school time there's one song that always plays in my mind and this is the one:

In 1995, when it was released, I was in my 10th grade, which means it was the first of the three years of preparation to college. I chose studing arts, I was in a new class, with all different people from my former collegues. It was a life changing time for me. And this song was playing everywhere all the time. On the bus, on the school radio, on TV, and people were whistling it over the school corridors. It was cool being a teen.

All in all, is a nice vibe song. So, make a pause, and play it!

**
Band: Mike and the Mechanics 
Song: Over my shoulder

check out the whole series of thursday's pause to play

Update

Hello everybody! I've been away for days and it feels like ages! I missed this place.

I have no computer at home at the moment. Yeah, really sucks. The guys where I work are trying  to rescue anything from my hard drive after the virus attack. I'm crossing my fingers on that. All I have is the office computer, but I only work from monday to thursday, so that leaves me three and half days without computer. Adding to that I'm over my head with work, and the time I have on this computer is not enough for all I have to do.

Anyways, I  had some fun days this past week. I've left the dark side! So, I thought I would give you an update of what I've been up to lately.

First there was that game...



I cannot begin to describe how it was to be in a stadium that full! More than sixty thousand people! And hearing the champions league music as the players get in the field was unique.

Can you tell how close we were from the field? We were on the third row, it was fabulous watching the players that close. It looks so different from what we see on the TV! Everything was amazing, too bad it ended in a tie. But well, not so bad, we were facing Manchester United and we got to scream GOAL!

After that there was a day with the boy staying with me in town, where I work, with lots of weird stuff happening such as we almost ending up sleeping in the street.

And then, there was a wedding we attended, which was lovely...

**
all photos by us

Time to overcome

Yesterday I got here a bit bitter, that's the result of being forced to stay away. I still am a little, I confess. Sometimes it gets hard to overcome those pieces of rage growing inside ourselves. I'll get there, till then I'll still be wanting to send malware developers to the moon with a kick in the butt. Well, I gess that's a thing I'll never be able to change.

I'm looking forward to know if it will be possible to recover anything the damn virus deleted, in the mean time there will be a few things happening that I hope (I'm sure) will cheer me up. On saturday there will be another wedding of two dear friends of us (and I still don't know what will I wear... Oh, well, I'll think of something) and I'm hoping it will be a fun happy day. But first, tomorrow, we've got tickets to the game!! Oh my, I can't wait!

**

photo by Gabriel (thank you!) took on another friend's wedding

Pissed off

Usually I'm a very peaceful and understanding person. I say usually, that means most of the time. The remaining time I can be really neurotic about things that pisse me off and absolutely not understanding, nor sympathetic (why should I?) with people that harm other people. That's me.

I have a mortal hate for virus and malware developers (those and people who park the car in the middle of the street). It's the kind of thing I cannot put myself to understand, no matter how many turns I give to it. Why would someone spend their time creating something that is only meant to harm other people. Why??

Please, don't answer me with philosophical dissertations about how the big software companies are ruling the world, oppressing our freedom, bla bla bla, and for that they need to be punished. I'll feel free to curse you. And you're totally free to think I'm a maniac. We're even.

Yes, I've been hit.

Thursday night, we turned on the laptop and BOOM! A rain of windows and system warnings begun. From there, no turning back. I've no idea were did it came from. It was the first time it happened to me and, as you can imagine, I'm pissed and not in an alchoolic way.

I work at a computer consulting company, I should know better. I do. I hear all sorts of bizarre stories, all the time, about malware infestation, about important docs worth a lot of money being lost, about folders of all life photos vanishing... and all the frustration afterwards. I take my precautions, allways backing up stuff, and due that I won't loose too much, still, there will be losses. Only with time I'll be able to tell what actually is lost, or if it will be by any means possible to recover anything from the drive. Till there, luckily I have this computer at work and my external hard drive to recover my old pictures.

What do I have to say? Those people are sick. They know they're ripping away pieces of peoples lifes, and they don't care! Whether they do it for money or just for self-satisfaction, it's sick.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking the world would be better off without these kind of people, and I almost agree that cutting the hands from stealers and sending hackers and virus developers to a no return trip to the moon would be the right thing to do. Then I feel like a bitch. And then there's that forgiveness thing. Not sure I can do that.

**

photo by me

Life isn't always fair, but take it. It's a gift.

A few days ago I received the unexpected news of the death of Fernando. It was a shock at first because he was young, in its fifties, and full of life. One can never get to totally understand this kind of things, not even when we are prepared for it, less when it's unexpected. But that's how life is. And one thing Fernando knew and was the personifcation of it, I'm sure, is that life is a gift. So we can only try to do the best we can with it. The death of Fernando was the end of his cicle here, but was not the end of his life, because it will continue through the many people he touched.

Fernando was one of the most incredible persons I've ever had the chance to meet. I knew that, even before I met him for the first time, because that's how everybody described him to me. He could not stand without doing nothing while so many people suffer around the world. He went to Haiti after the earthquake, he took water, medicines... and he did that having nothing to give, but simply by infecting everyone around him with this virus he had: his kindness and his will to help and do like Christ did, love every human being. From there, gathering money looked easy. He went to Honduras, he went to Ghana... and many many places around the world. I dare to say he changed the lifes of hundreds of people. He started the project of a professional school in Haiti, he took architects to Africa to rebuild schools, he helped to get potable water to small villages in Ghana... He arranged bicicles for kids that had to walk miles every day to go to school... And I could go on and on.

And he was never alone. He touched children, youngsters and adults to act and share, take matters in hands and do something. Act. He was a teacher, but mostly he was a captivating human being. The diabetes was his own personal fight, the only one he lost. He died in Guinea, doing what he loved the most, helping other people.

We particularly will never forget him, for he was the one who got us a priest, his friend, for our wedding celebration when we were one month to it and had run out of solutions, as our parish priest was not available. That's a fun story we will always remember every year.


One can feel revolted against life. One can shout "why him if the world need him so much?". But one should definetly be grateful for being touched by all this amazing people that set foot on hearth. This is how life his. His life may have been short, but he did the most out of it.

What are you doing with your life? This is what you should be asking yourself.


 

**

Dear Lord, 
thank you for giving me the chance 
to be enlightened by the life of Fernando. 
I ask you to give his family the strenght 
to understand and be grateful. 
And to all he touched, may he be an example of Christ on earth, 
and may his path continue to be drawn by the feet of others.


Thank you Fernando for touching my life.

To the person who is now in possession of my cellphone

If you stole it from me, be sure that you belong in hell.

I don't care if I gave you a chance by leaving the bag zipper open. I don't care if you have a hard life. I have a hard life. And I don't take pleasure from things that do not belong to me, you know, other people's things. I work my ass of to get everything I have.

No. It's not an easy life. Fight it! Don't be a coward.

If I was stupid enough to have lost it, anywhere between the train and the bus to work, and you found it, well, I still have some confidence in the good will of people. Because, you know, there are some good people out there. Honest people. So, I was hoping that you would return it to me. I don't expect you to know who I am and find me. Don't worry, the authorities will do that for you. And I don't need to offer you a reward, cause it's the right thing to do, and good people do nice things just because it feels good. But I would be tremendously grateful to you, and would have you in my heart forever, because good people leave a print in our life. And probably would bake you a thank you cake. Just sayin...

I waited. Two whole days. I contacted the authorities, the train and the bus company. Several times. No such thing was returned anywhere. And I even called my cellphone hoping you would answer me, but it just rang once and then you turned it off.

Why? Don't you know that it is mine and not yours? Do you think that finding it, and keeping it, makes you a better person than a thief? It doesn't. It's not yours to keep. Oh, and it's a crime amongst our laws, did you know that?

I will keep looking for it, because I still have faith in the human kind, even if everywhere I go people tell me not to have. "People don't do altruistic acts no more. People see advantage in every thing and will take it if given the opportunity." So, am I naive? I don't care. This is who I am.

If I never get to have it back, wich I know is the most probable thing to happen, I hope that, when you find all my pictures full of smiles in the cellphone card, you'll be sure that you stole a piece of an happy life. I don't expect you to feel bad about it, as I don't expect people like you to have feelings. Anyway, whether you stole it from me or found it and kept it, be sure that

I hate you with all my heart.

**

photo by me, taken that very same morning
and that was actually the exact bus I caught. weird, I say.